For those of you who don’t know already, I despise Peaches Geldof. She is surely the most vacuous, vapid ego-belch to trundle her way through the brown-eye of the tabloids. She has not one redeeming characteristic. My slightly irrational hatred of her was given a boost yesterday, when I saw that popbitch had awarded her the crown for Worst Quote of ’09…
I have respect for broadsheet journalists because, they haven’t succumbed to degrading themselves, to writing pidgin English with all these terrible colloquialisms, the phrasing of which is just, like, embarrassing.
Magnificent. It goes to show that her much-flamed Nylon column and her interminable chuntering with Fern Cotton were not one off’s – she really is a catastrophic dullard.
So, in keeping with all the other outlets currently squeezing out their ‘Worsts…’ lists, I thought it might be worth seeing what/who stood out for everyone in 2009. It’s not wholly tech related (indeed, some of the best are far more mainstream/consumer) but a celebration of all things dunder-headed…(plenty from Twitter, it’s a hotbed of shitheadedness)
1. Jan Moir’s Daily Mail Hate article on the sad and untimely death of Stephen Gately:
Whatever the cause of death is, it is not, by any yardstick, a natural one. Let us be absolutely clear about this. All that has been established so far is that Stephen Gately was not murdered.
And I think if we are going to be honest, we would have to admit that the circumstances surrounding his death are more than a little sleazy.
Charlie Brooker made a good summary in the Guardian, noting… I’m still struggling to absorb the sheer scope of its hateful idiocy. It’s like gazing through a horrid little window into an awesome universe of pure blockheaded spite. Spiralling galaxies of ignorance roll majestically against a backdrop of what looks like dark prejudice, dotted hither and thither with winking stars of snide innuendo.
2. ABC News Reporter Terry Moran (in rapidly deleted Tweet)
Pres Obama just called Kanye West a “jackass” for his outburst at VMAs when Taylor Swift won. Now THAT’S presidential
3. a lass called “@theconner” was thrilled. She’s just landed a job offer from Cisco, but didn’t know if she wanted to take it. Instead of talking it over with friends and family, she broadcasted the following message:
“Cisco just offered me a job! Now I have to weigh the utility of a fatty paycheck against the daily commute to San Jose and hating the work.”
@theconnor Who is the hiring manager. I’m sure they would love to know that you will hate the work. We here at Cisco are versed in the Web.
Tim Levad is a 10 year veteran of Cisco’s client services division…
4. The Telegraph – Not so much a “Worst Quote” per se, but certainly a “Unwanted Quote Generator”.
Telegraph.co.uk took the ‘brave’ decision to publish a live Twitterfall stream of #budget tags, unfortunately leaving itself open to sour-minded sabotage. treats included…
@worldsmycountry: Breaking news: Barclay Brothers to pick up your tax bill in unprecedented act of philanthropy. #Budget
@cripesonfriday: Dear Telegraph, I was shocked and appalled to read the words fuck & cunt on your website today. All I wanted to do was read about the #budget
@natmandu: Explosion at a Huddersfield pie factory. 3.141592654 dead. #budget
@chickyog: Well that’s the Telegraph’s #budget twitterfeed boned. What shall we destroy next?
5. George Dubbya, natch…
I have opinions of my own, strong opinions, but I don’t always agree with them
6. X Factor, Simon Cowellisms
Don’t get me wrong. I still love the X factor machine, but the thought that it might not return in 2010 is, in my mind, a good thing. Perhaps only then will Simon Cowell will have the time to realise: that 100 per cent is as high as you can go, that understandubly is not a word and that people who say somethink, rather than something, sound insanely ridiculous.
7. Silvio Berlusconi
Commenting on earthquake survivors in emergency camps
“They have medicaments. They have hot food. They have shelter for the night. Of course their current lodgings are a bit temporary. But they should see it like a weekend of camping.”
8. Silvio Berlusconi
“I bring you greetings from a person who is called…a person who is sun-tanned…Barack Obama,” the smiling 72-year-old politician told a crowd of cheering supporters in Milan on Sunday.
“You wouldn’t believe it, but they go sunbathing at the beach together – his wife is also sun-tanned.”
We need more. Lots more. Fling them *down there*